Hi, I’m Vanessa! 

Growing up, I lived in a very challenging environment. My parents were incredibly young when they had me and didn’t have much of a support system. Those circumstances landed me in a children’s home and then foster care for part of my childhood.

Eventually, I was able to live with my mom again, but life was still unstable, and I wasn’t surrounded by much safety.

Because of that, I never learned to regulate my emotions or feel safe within myself, which shaped how I navigated relationships in my adult life.

For a long time, every relationship I entered fell under one of two extremes. 

It was either full of intense passion with someone emotionally unavailable or with a partner who felt so safe and emotionally available that I couldn’t be with them because I felt so bored. Essentially I didn’t have the capacity to connect to my inner self the way a full-body YES relationship demands. 

At one point, I even found myself in a very unhealthy relationship that reflected the absence of my self-worth back to me. I wasn’t being respected in that relationship, but I still stayed.

The truth was that I was struggling to face my own emotions. 

Overgiving became my baseline for what I believed love to be. 

On the outside, I always appeared to be “okay.” 

Internally, I was full of anxiety, but I buried my emotions because I didn’t know how to trust, express, or be with them.

That all changed when I discovered the tools to finally hold space for uncomfortable emotions instead of avoiding them, pretending everything was fine,  or shutting down altogether. 

These tools helped me realize that I wasn’t just suppressing my emotions, I was also unknowingly contributing to them. 

That’s how I developed a 4-step method proven through lived experience and deeply reflective inner work. 

And if you’re willing to do the work, it can help you create a life and relationship of inner freedom, security, and fulfillment. 

My 4-step method not only helped me stop negotiating my worth in relationships, but it also opened my eyes to how I contributed to the repetitive cycles of unfulfilling relationships. 

Now I’m in a fulfilling relationship that doesn’t require me to abandon myself in order to stay connected. In fact, I feel deeply cherished and my entire life has become grounded in inner freedom, security, and so much more fulfillment.

I’ve packed my method into a 12-week 1:1 mentorship to help other women who have experienced the same intense relationship patterns I have.